photo: http://www.dreamstime.com/-image21733099
We are in the same pew.
I try to catch her eye.
We have been having a dance for months!
I try to reach out to her.
She runs away!
She fidgets in her seat.
Today is Communion…
A time we are reminded of
Jesus’ sacrifice in our place…
that allows us to commune with
Almighty GOD…
as well as one another.
I look into her face as she passes me the bread.
Her eyes look away.
Not once do they meet mine.
The wine is passed.
Once again, I look at her, hoping to connect.
Once again, she avoids my gaze.
This poor young woman.
She has a wall built around herself that is difficult to penetrate.
As someone who is trained to observe signs and symptoms…
I see many signs of depression…in her face, her manner, her demeanor.
I try to greet her afterward.
Her response is programmed. Her words say to me, “I’m fine.”
But her body language says, “But if I weren’t, I would never tell you!”
I am not one of the people she will allow into her life.
I am sad for her. She is lonely.
Attempts to reach out to her tend to be misinterpreted or rebuffed.
My frustration knows no bounds.
My only hope is to break down the wall through prayer…
and continuing to reach out to her in what feels like baby steps.
I also need to recognize that this isn’t about me…AT ALL!
God will need to work. Nothing I do seems to help really.
I am not wanted.
I don’t have the innate ability to express the love of Christ to this person…
in a way that she is able to receive it
Apart from the work of Christ in both of us.
This poor woman has no idea how much she needs
the people who realize how needy she is.
Even more, she needs to know the love of Christ…
in ways she has never experienced it in community.
May GOD have mercy on her
and open her eyes to the community of grace that is all around her.
She represents a legion of people I have known over years of ministry.
I have even been this woman at times…to my own peril.
This same young woman, or older man, or teen girl, or middle-aged woman
May be sitting next to you at church;
Working near you at your job;
Be in your family;
Be your neighbor.
Often they are “in Christ” in the sense that they are believers
but are miserable because they aren’t accessing the resources
available to them…IN CHRIST.
They are living as orphans inside the family of GOD!
You may feel the frustration of not being able
to reach them in meaningful ways.
GOD is bigger than your limitations.
He may even use someone else.
Keep praying for them.
Keep loving them to the degree they will allow it.
Keep moving toward them, not away.
They are suffering…they don’t need to,
but they may never have known anything different.
GOD is working in their lives.
He loves them in ways you can’t begin to!
This is a reprise of a post I wrote April of 2012. Today I’m sharing this with Fellowship Friday #50 readers.
I love this!! I have been and often am the one you would try to reach out to. At the same time I have seen it when I try to reach to others. Although mostly I fail to try. I figure most don’t want to be bothered, even though I know that in the past I have longed for the connections that I denied myself.
hi deanna,
i can understand. i’ve been on both sides of this problem. i guess that is why i feel so for this young woman. one of the most helpful disciplines i have had to learn…and for me it is a huge discipline! is to NOT judge the motives of other people, especially women, based on a particular comment or behavior. it is so easy for us to read the comments of others through our own grids and our own experience and totally miss the motives of another woman in her comment or behavior.
one example is when i see a woman with small children who are young and i know her days are busy…along with many of her nights. i remember how it felt some days to never feel like i had a moment to breath! I often will comment, “wow, i know you have your hands full.” when i say that, i think i’m being totally non-judgemental but offering understanding that her days can be crazy busy. it is often an offer for her to share and agree that some days she doesn’t know if she will make it thro’ the day…or whatever the comment…and i can assure her of my prayers for her or maybe even give her a hand if appropriate.
recently a blogger wrote about how insulting it is for her when women say, “wow, you must really have your hands full.” she takes it as condemnation of the number of children she has! wow! nothing could be further from my mind!
i think the problems with our communication with other women…particularly across generations, is we read more between the lines than we need to. there is no question that it is difficult taking what others say at face value, but often, that is how they mean it. by ignoring those who did mean us harm beneath the surface, we haven’t hurt anything at all…and we will be much happier in the long run b/c we have been thinking about the true, the excellent, the good…and we and those around us benefit from it:)