Photo: public domain graphic: Martha G. Brady
Now, back to the last in our grief series from Jamaica. As I was grieving my dad’s death, I kept bumping into things stuffed in the corners of my heart, from the death of our daughter 3 years before. It really complicated the process that I just wanted to be done and finished with!
It was a lot like when you are cleaning out a dirty shed. Over time you think you have it all cleaned out, you look and discover a pile of dirt in the corner or the light shifts and shows a pile of dirt over there. After awhile, you wonder if the job will ever be done! Your head is throbbing, your nose is clogged up from all the dust, but it seems like the job will never be finished.
Grieving is a bittersweet, but painful process
That was the way it seemed to go. Then I kept running into things from our baby’s death that added to the grief process. It was good we were dealing with our small children at the time. They always brought humor and hilarity into our lives. Some days I needed it badly.
Gradually, the soreness and redness of the fresh wound subsided. I gradually found myself coming to peace, not only with the death of my dad, but also the death of our baby. Chasing two little girls around helped with the pain of her loss. They kept me busy. And the joy of their presence filled the emptiness of the wound as well.
They also showed me that life comes and despite the grief from death, GOD gives us joyful and happy experiences as well. Life is a mix of experiences. You need to remember, I was very young at this point. I wasn’t 30 yet. I had a lot to learn about the variety that fills our lives as well as the joy of walking with GOD through all of it.
Challenge: Have you found it difficult to have to take time adjusting to something that is part of a process when you would rather have it over and done with?
As you grieve a loss, have you come across other debris to deal with along the way? Does it just feel like it takes too much time, too much bother?
Whatever gets left behind will need to be dealt with at some point. Putting it off helps no one, especially you.
Just read your 3 posts about your dad’s death and your time of grieving. Thank you for sharing so openly about such a painful time. I think your insights into the grieving process are really helpful and I especially appreciated your reflections on God’s sovereignty in the previous post.
thanks carly:) i remember when i read it the first time, i was shocked to even imagine a connection! it took me a long time to think it through before I could get to that point! that’s how foreign the concept was to me at first.