Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash
Today is the 12th in the series at Kate Motaung’s blog titled On Being a Writer by Anne Kroeker and Charity Singleton Craig. The book is also available at the website. This is week six. She has links to all this information and earlier posts on her site. Here are the links to my earlier posts: Identify, Arrange, Surround, Notice, Write. Send, Promote, Discover, Engage, Plan, Rest. This is the last in our series. It has been a fun and interesting series to be part of. Thanks Anne, Charity and Kate!
My post today is going to be an illustration of this topic on limit. I’m on vacation and didn’t get to read as much of the book this week.
This topic affects all of us, whether we are writers or not. So many of our decisions in life come down to this area of limits.
Limiting cuts both ways. We open ourselves up for a richer, more textured life as a writer by choosing to narrow the focus of our life in some areas, while broadening and deepening it in others. Share on XWhat are my limits?
What are my personal limits at this time in my life? Do I have health issues personally or in my family that sap me? Do I have a paying job that takes a chunk of time and energy? Do I have children at home that need my time and attention? Am I married? All these relationships take time and emotional energy to maintain and develop. We are foolish if we ignore the energy they demand from us.
Of course, this is a huge consideration when considering your choice of schooling for your children. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into making the choice to homeschool, for example, if you feel it is something beyond the limits of what you can take on. The two people who should make this choice are you and your husband. You know the limits of your family best. For every “yes”, to choose something, we say “no” to many other things. It is important to understand what you are saying “yes” to as well as what you are saying “no” to.
Where are my priorities?
Included in the priorities of family, extended family, church, job(s), and extracurricular activities would be the fun things you want to work into your life! They are not fluff! This is where our choice of schooling comes in as well if that is your life stage. Learning to have frank talks with yourself and your spouse are important so you can be aware of your true priorities not the “should’s.”
If your true priorities turn out to be different from what you had hoped, you can make adjustments, but don’t make decisions based on what you want them to be. Face your true priorities
Many years ago, we felt we were running in too many different directions with activities for our children. It was crazy! When we were home, the time we were there was not enjoyable. We were rushed and stressed, trying to play catch-up for the next event. We as parents decided to think about how to resolve the problem and decided to limit activities to one per child after Sunday activities and certain other priority school ones.
We knew our limits as adults and knew the things that had to be done as well as time that was needed for homework and breathing time. We didn’t become a smiling, perfect family ever, of course, but slashing all the crazy running around did help.
I wasn’t writing at the time, but the same principle applies only more so. Each of us has only 24 hours. While it is true that we waste some of our time, we also need time to think, reflect, and generally chill! We can’t do it when we are rushing around running to activities from morning to night. Some temperaments manage it easier than others. Some careers manage it better as well!
Reflecting back
Of course, I’m now in a season where I have more of that time as well as more years to reflect on! I can look back and see the end of stories where I once saw only the beginnings or middles. Seeing the endings of some of those stories has been enlightening when it comes to my earlier child raising theories, theological beliefs, political beliefs, and views of history…to say nothing of the way GOD chooses to work!
It is encouraging to watch the way He intervenes in the lives and situations of people in His own way and choosing. He tends to turn our personal rules upside down and backwards at times. And as a writer, I find that fun and interesting.
He tends to turn our personal rules upside down & backwards at times. Share on XLimiting cuts both ways. We open ourselves up for a richer, more textured life as a writer by choosing to narrow the focus of our life in some areas, while broadening and deepening it in others. In the end, we want to look back and be satisfied with the choices we made.
The good thing is that each year, we can re-evaluate. Are these choices working? What tweaks are needed? then we move from there…as GOD guides us on our way.
Very powerful post, Martha. So many great thoughts and ideas and love that you end with a nod to the importance of reflection.
i’m glad you found it helpful helen. i had difficulty writing it, particularly in the short time i had to do it in! i knew if i didn’t get it done, it wouldn’t get posted. there were lots of things that had to be done yesterday! (the kids are in school). i was hoping it made sense and held together. seems i haven’t had as much time for reflection lately! then i come here where there are 3 active school aged children and it takes me back to a very busy time in my life! wow.
The true priorities part grabbed me. Lining up with them does get easier, right? It feels like it does once I remember them. It has been great to get to know you and your priorities.
thanks gabriele:) i have enjoyed meeting you as well! i’m not sure priorities get easier with age or not. in some ways i think they do in terms of knowing myself and my abilities but in the past couple of years, we have moved again. adjusting to a new area, new church, developing a new support system? it all takes time and when retired, isn’t always as easy as the first time around…especially for men! add in health issues, etc. and it can be challenging at times.
You’ve illustrated at a practical, personal level the need for limits–and the benefits of implementing them!
thanks ann:) whoops! i see i have been misspelling your name. i’m so sorry. somehow i remembered seeing an extra “e” at the end. I’ll have to fix that! This has been a wonderful series. Figuring out my favorite is going to be difficult!
Martha, your post shows such wisdom and depth – and your writing in during your vacation is amazing. Balancing personal limits and priorities definitely isn’t easy. I’m with you in having many years of learning what I can do and what is best left for someone else. Praying that God continues to guide your steps as you walk forward with Him/
whoops barbara, i see i missed answering your comment. if i were really doing a great job of limiting, i wouldn’t have written during my vacation, but i have been part of this group for 6 weeks and couldn’t quit on the last week! also, we’re going to be doing a few trips over the next month so i knew i would never catch up! welcome to our group. hope to see you again soon!
Saying no to some things allows us to say yes to others. You’re right, we can’t seem to have it both ways. Thanks for your perspective, Martha.
that seems to be the way it works out isn’t it debby:) making the hard choices can be difficult. I think that is why we need GOD’s wisdom and help to make them…because there is too much about the future that we just don’t know!
This wisdom of your years shines bright in this post Martha! I can only add AMEN. It’s been a pleasure reading your thoughts the past 6 weeks!
i have so enjoyed reading your posts as well christy:) i’m looking forward to keeping up on some level over the next months as we are all busy with our 31 day challenges. thanks for your encouraging words. i’m sorry i have been away this last week of the challenge…but i’m having lots of fun:)
There is so much wisdom in this post- I found it really helpful (and challenging).
“For every “yes”, to choose something, we say “no” to many other things. It is important to understand what you are saying “yes” to as well as what you are saying “no” to.”- I think that’s something I don’t always take on board. I want to say “yes” to things but don’t always consider how it will automatically put limits in other areas.
Also, “be aware of your true priorities, not the “should’s”.
Thank you- you’ve definitely given me something to think about.
thanks carly. i’ll be stopping by the other blogs later today. we’ve been out most of the day. i’m having so much fun, it’s been hard to fit my blogging in between my life here:) those two pieces of advice have been the most helpful as I have learned to prioritize my life…and continue to do so with each move! glad they were helpful to you too.
Martha, great post! Amen to all of it! 🙂
thanks tara:)