Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash
Today is the 9th in the series at Kate Motaung’s blog titled On Being a Writer by Anne Koeker and Charity Singleton Craig. The book is also available at the website. This is week five. She has links to all this information and earlier posts on her site. Here are the links to my earlier posts: Identify, Arrange, Surround, Notice, Write. Send, Promote, Discover.
It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. ~E.B.White
I realize, not for the first time, the lack I feel in my writing life. I don’t feel that I have found my people in terms of writing yet. Yes, I have met a person here and another one there that I realize I need to pursue if I am going to engage with other writers in a meaningful way. I have met a number of great writers through this forum that I would like to pursue. But to say I have a group of writers that I interact with regularly now? No, I don’t. I feel I don’t fit with any group anywhere. I don’t say that with any joy or delight.
In terms of local writers? I have not found a way to engage at all!
I realize the lack I feel in my writing life. I don't feel that I have found my writing people yet. Click To TweetMore recently, I have found some writers that I think I might fit with better than most I have met previously online. I think finding out where I don’t fit can be just as helpful as finding out where I fit. Well, almost! I have recently cut back on some of my link-ups. I haven’t had any less visitors since I did, so my gut feeling that I wasn’t connecting at some of those places must have been correct. So now, to find ways to connect with those with whom I find a closer connection…and understand where and I why I fit.
I will now have to find real life writers according to the recommendations in this chapter. The suggestions were very helpful for sure! The link-ups seem helpful as well.
Stretching and growing. This seems to be the only way to keep the fizz in our lives!
Stretch, stretch, stretch! I guess that is the thing about writing. We never stop learning or stretching. Just like life! Once we stop stretching and growing, we get stale, dull and flat. The fizz is gone.
So the area where I need to grow and stretch, as far as engagement, is to find local or close to local writer friends that can be mutually supportive and challenging. It is easy for me to find ways to encourage others. I hope to find others who can tell me what I’m doing right and what needs to be changed to improve my ability to communicate. I have very little frame of reference. I never had a creative writing class in college.
So the area where I need to grow and stretch, is to find local or close to local writer friends that can be mutually supportive and challenging. Click To TweetEngage, engage! How is that for scary? It is much more threatening in real life than online. But probably more valuable as well. So I will proceed to find others with whom to engage! I’ll be checking out my options at the library and Barnes & Noble for sure. From there? There are so many opportunities aren’t there?
March 25, 2020 update: I’m happy to say that since this original post was written, I have found a local group of writers to interact with. I have also found a couple of online groups as well. It has helped immensely! I’m not where I would like to be, but I’m making more progress.
I love your desire to stretch and grow and keep developing as a writer. This group is helping me see just how important engaging with others is for that, whether that’s online or face to face. I agree, seeking a group to engage with in person is much more scary than doing it online but I’m sure it would be really beneficial with the right group. It is important to find where you fit. Hope you manage to find a group locally where you can give and receive encouragement and meet others who will help you grow as a writer.
thanks carly:) frankly, i’m also hoping to find my group online too. this one has been wonderful! i’ve felt like i’m not nearly the misfit i once thought i was. it feels good:)
Once again your words resonate with me. Fitting in/not fitting in. I think overlooking some differences and finding commonalities is definitely beneficial, but having a like-minded community is amazing! I also have my husband, who is a much better writer than myself which makes a difference too, we can bounce ideas off of each other and I LOVE that!
I think i will have to give you a tongue lashing here christy:) take it as a loving one! because your huband’s writing gifts are different, they may not necessarily be better. i know where that comes from. i think it all the time! his/her writing gifts are better than mine. yes, they many have honed them longer, but the writing gift you have is for a different audience. yes, you need to develop your gift…no question. yes, i’m sure it is different. but it may not necessarily be inferior.
i think my husband is a better writer than i as well. in some ways he is. he is more concise. he gets to the point much faster. he has had years of writing sermons and teaching the bible so in that way and in that context, he is a “better” writer. but in terms of grabbing hearts and getting to guts, i may be catching up on him. it takes me longer to get there. definitely more words:) so it depends on who the audience is.
it’s a topic i’ll be writing about in my october series:) 31 ways living in jamaica chaged my life! how is that for a shameless plug:) one topic is different is neither inferior not superior. it’s just different! haha!
I can always count on Martha to keep me in line 🙂 I’ve read my hubby’s fiction. He can weave a story in a way that pulls me right into where he is. And you’re right, he’s had many more years practice with sermon writing,etc. and we do write differently. As an aside, I’ve been shamelessly plugging my 31 days all over the place, lol. (more because of the topic than my writing–yes, tongue lash me again dear friend, lol).
You never did tell me how my post led you to change directions? 🙂
which post. it must have been an earlier one. i remember thinking i was struggling too much on the topic i originally chose. it was interesting, but not fun…and not true to who i am…maybe for a few posts, but not 31! i would have been worn out! the jamaica was will come easy. i could do more than 31 posts. some will be light, others very heavy and many in between. it is where i learned most of what i needed for the rest of my life and ministry…at least in seed form! everything from what i learned about my own racism, a christian neighbor who was having an affair right under my nose and i was totally oblivious, being asked for advice about abortion and failing for strange reasons, learning that different isn’t inferior, finding out that variety really IS the spice of life and learning how to made tea the right way:)…among other things!
you see what i meant about the variety?
Martha, I have so many of the same thoughts as you and am, too, feeling adrift, unconnected, in terms of my writing ‘community’….it’s not an easy one to solve.
for you helen, there are so many ways you feel adrift aren’t there? and broken right now. do you have any community where you can go to feel loved on and cared for whether it is an artistic one or not? a church community maybe? i know i usually find one when we move. well, i rarely had a choice re which one! my husband was the pastor:)
sometimes it is a small group within the larger one where we can live authentically and deal with our brokenness. church is so weird. everyone looks so good on sundays and we are tempted to think their lives are all together and ours are a mess. it is in the smaller groups we find the truth. we’re all the same. the details are different, but we’re all dealing with messes and need the love of jesus found in the gospel and the love of each other to survive.
from there come the interest groups which have often been quilting groups for me…a place of artistic expressions for sure! but now i need to find writers with whom i can conspire:) i need some who are believers, but not all need to be believes really as long as they can be respectful of my beliefs. they can challenge me to write in ways that communicate better. i’m not sure i need a cynic constantly criticizing my worldview. that won’t be helpful really. no one benefits from having to write defensively. but that is another topic for another day.
I agree that often times it’s as helpful to know where we don’t fit. When our kids were dating, I reminded them dating is really about sifting out the ones who aren’t right before you find the one that is. I guess a lot of things can be viewed that way. I’m glad you said that because it was a good reminder for me. I appreciate your sharing in this group. It’s nice to be part of a group who are open.
i discuss it with much more objectivity than i live it debby:) i don’t handle things nearly as well internally as i do intellectually. but i at least have figured out how to tell myself a logical way to think and behave. it even helps sometimes:)
i like your analogy on dating. my girls dated and in these days when i hear how horrible dating is, i don’t buy it. i feel that way for the same reasons. it is a great prep for life isn’t it? the whole idea that people can’t be together in healthy social situations seems odd to me. wisdom can be learned by the young too!
Martha,
Your post made me wonder what it would look like to have an artist community where I fit in. Would everyone be older, like me? Would we share religious background? Would we all have kids? Would we all be extroverts? Or, maybe we would spend time together because we love writing. I’m sure I would be challenged by some of my co-conspirators. Some would make me feel “not good enough”. Some would be a tad bit annoying, maybe. Just thinking….. I added your blog to my Feedly App. Sit next to me, I think you are worth it.
thanks gabriele. i take that as a compliment! in my experience, an artistic or church community where everyone is the same is miserable! we thrive in diversity. we don’t always love it at first, but it is much more creatively stimulating! We need the people who are different than we are. they make us stop and think. we still want the people similar to us of course, but the variety adds spice and sparkle don’t you think?