photo: CCO public domain graphic: Martha G. Brady
What do I miss these days?
I can’t begin to tell you.
I miss my energy
My sharp memory
My body that doesn’t ache after sitting too long.
I miss the years full of passion and excitement,
As well as tears and drama.
Now, I’m weary and tired…and don’t want to be.
I miss long time friends…
Some who have gone ahead and are in heaven.
Some who live in places where I have lived before.
Keeping up long distance is difficult at best.
I miss being with my children in person.
We live far from 2 of the 3.
Yes, we talk on the phone.
It’s not the same.
I miss my dad often.
He died in 1973…suddenly.
Because of illnesses of my mom,
He cared for me as an infant and again as a young child in Bolivia.
His death left a gaping hole in my heart.
And now, I miss my husband…the man he was.
Yes, he is still here.
We can still talk and laugh together. stop
But he is not the same since his stroke last year.
I’m learning how to live with this loss that doesn’t look like a loss.
And all around me are people in similar or worse situations.
May GOD have mercy on all of us as we adjust to our various griefs…large and small.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction,
so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
II Corinthians 1:3-4
PS. In 5 minutes, I can only give one side of the picture. Describing what I miss, gives the gloomy side. There is a rosy side too, but the word for today is “miss” so I had to go there. I don’t want to offend my new friends, my local family or any others. I’m just saying what I miss. I hope you understand. I am very aware of my many, many blessings. I’m just coming to terms with some of the things I miss right now. Paul’s words are very comforting at times like this.
Martha, this was so good to read, felt like we were at my table in Tyler visiting face to face- just wish we really were! I am so sorry Ron suffers affects of the stoke! That is so hard! Along the same lines as the verse about comfort, I love this line from a Getty song about trials, “His every promise is enough for every step I take; sustaining me with arms of love and crowning me with grace.” Love you!!!
thank you so much dominique. what sweet words:) thanks so much for those words.
that is a getty song i don’t think i know. it’s so strange that we don’t get together even though we don’t live that far apart. life just gets busier than we expect doesn’t it?
that painting trip to your house was so much fun. i was just thinking about it yesterday:)
I so understand. My mom has changed too and I miss who she was too.
the brain is a very interesting organ. one little spot can get damaged and it affects so many things that you can’t always see at first. he would probably be better off if he were affected in a leg or an arm. nice to see you tara. guess i had better make my way to your corner of the world. didn’t see you earlier:)
Those verses in II Cor. have been a comfort to me at times in my life. God really is the God of all comfort. Blessings to you!
glad you came by gayl:) ultimately, our comfort does come from Him doesn’t it? even if it comes through the hugs and words of our friends. they are all gifts from Him. blessings to you as well:)
Can SO identify . . . so grateful here for unmerited favors and blessings — but sad for people and events that are so close in my heart and so far from my embrace . . .
well said barbara:)
Yes Martha, learning to live with a loss that doesn’t look like a loss. I’m certain you are.
Adjustments are made through our entire lives aren’t they? Your post reminds me of that. Hopefully, we each change for the better as time passes…even if it seems we take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Some days are definitely harder than others.
so true Christy. as i looked up verses after i wrote this post, i was so encouraged to find this passage in II Corinthians. it is very encouraging isn’t it? nothing is wasted in GOD’s economy…even the hard times.
As I read, I knew you must be a caregiver. May God bless you and keep you strong.
{Coming to you from FB 31 Day Survivors}
hi GG, i’m not a caregiver in the normal way you would think of it. ron is able to get out and about. he is even able to drive! but he doesn’t always remember what day it is nor does he always have an awareness of the passing of time. it is very strange. that’s why i say i don’t look like i am suffering a loss. he just isn’t quite the same as he once was…and i’m needing to do some things i never had to before. it is an adjustment for sure! GOD is helping me. i’m glad to be near one of my daughters and have her help and wisdom…as well as other friends too.
This is clearly the beginning of a much longer, beautifully written, much needed post. I hope you write it. This is beautiful. Thank you for the perspective – though incomplete – I need as a mama with two under 5, two healthy parents, and a husband who “seems” checked out, but isn’t. I wanted to read more! Blessings! ~ Your FMF neighbor this week.
thank you carey:) I’m glad you found it helpful. i totally agree that this perspective is needed for all ages for sure! i will go ahead and write the other part of that post. i know it is important.