Photos by Canva
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This is the third in our series Finding Senior Care:
Living in our Challenging Final Years
- How do you know it is time?…
- What is involved?…
- Finding the right place for this time in your life… That is our topic today.
We have discussed precipitating events that help you know it is time for a change. Briefly, they include changes in the health of one or both of you, death of a spouse, or the stronger partner is getting weaker. If you are living alone, your children or close friends and family are very concerned for your safety and well being, often when you may not be. This could also be true of those of you who are a couple. Pay attention to their concerns. They may be well grounded. It won’t hurt you to start looking at options even if you don’t think you are ready now. It is much more difficult to make these decisions once one of you has landed in the hospital with a serious health issue and they won’t let you be discharged until you have a better care situation lined up. Then, you have less choices and you are under duress. Make the time now to do your homework.
What is involved? Downsizing your home, decluttering and eventually selling it. It all depends on what money you have available as to how urgently you need to sell your home before moving.
Updating all your legal information with your lawyer. That means updating your will in such a way that you can avoid probate, naming a power of attorney, a power of attorney for medical decisions (may be a different person), making sure your bank accounts have a survivor/POA on them so they won’t be subject to probate (with your lawyer’s advice of course.)
This site gives a lot of helpful questions and information for you to consider before you go to the lawyer. Browse around that site. It will give you a lot of very helpful information. It is by Elizabeth Turnage who I have met online. She has now paired up with a social worker. They have done quite a thorough job of giving you information to be considered for things like who your power of attorney would be, who your power of attorney for medical care would be, etc. They also discuss how to pass on your spiritual values one last time in your final will and funeral and other ways you deal with your family. We will talk more about this later.
Making sure your burial and funeral plans are in order. This includes being sure your spiritual life is right with God as well as being right with the people in your life. There is a great book on helping with all these issues titled
Much of this information overlaps both in time and as you move through process of moving. Sometimes, the order is not done in the same order you might expect, but it all happens. Sometimes, as you start through the process, you may find you aren’t ready to move to the next stage yet, and a year or two will go by. Or you will need more assistance than you anticipated at a certain stage such as decluttering. Many find it difficult together rid of their things
In order to purge and declutter, you may need the assistance of your family and some friends.
When it comes to going through all your things and decluttering and purging, you may need the assistance of your family. Take their help. They will encourage you to get rid of more than you may want to, but stand up for the really important things you want to keep.
Hopefully, they will want some of the things you want to pass on. If they don’t, don’t let it bother you deeply. The important thing is that you want your values to pass on most, not your things. Enjoy smiling with them over the memories you come across when you clean out those closets. If there are photos that bring happy memories to mind, frame them. It is easy to copy photos and frame them. Your kids probably know how to get it done quickly and easily better than you do.
The up side of your kids not taking the sentimental things that have been in the family a long time, is that you will be able to get money for them, if they have been cared for well. Allow someone else to buy those things who will enjoy them if your children don’t want them.
So how do you find the right place for this time in your life?
You want to pay attention to a Location that it is convenient for your lifestyle. That is near church, hospital, doctors, children and other activities. It won’t be near everything, of course, but location is a great benefit.
If you aren’t able to drive anymore, is free Transportation provided for residents? for doctor appointments? Hairdresser appointments? grocery store, etc.?
Do you or your spouse need some Safety help such as emergency call lights, handicapped showers with a chair, or other safety help, someone on hand to call for over 24 hours if needed? Pay attention to see if these benefits are there. You may not need all these things now, but a broken hip or stoke can happen and you will need some of them. And you will be glad to have them handy.
Is temporary nursing care available if needed? (So you don’t have to move out.) Is transitional care available? Maybe you want the independence of independent living, but can’t remember to take your medications. Can you get help with taking meds without having to go into assisted living? There are places where those kinds of help are available along with other combinations.
Is respite care available? Some places also have this available so you, the caregiver, can take a break. You just have to let them know when you need the break so they can schedule someone to cover for you and they will do it.
It is up to you to look and see what your needs are now, as well a what you think they might be in the future. Then we trust God to provide from His riches.
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance,
I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.Philippians 4:11-13, 19-20 ESV
PS. I’m sorry. This post got away from me this week. It was almost ready on Tuesday. Then I forgot about it and here we are on Friday and it isn’t posted yet. Whoops. I’m still not into a regular routine with all my things yet.
