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We have spent 4 weeks talking about finding senior housing that will help us meet the challenges of our senior years. But what are some of those challenges?
Health Challenges
This is a time when you and your spouse (if you still have one) are experiencing varying degrees of health problems. Some are slow and are the culmination of chronic issues you have had for a long time. Others come on suddenly like a stroke or heart attack and involve going to the ER sometimes. Often, your balance is off and one or both of you are falling and breaking bones. It is difficult, jarring, and sometimes traumatic. Sometimes, you are able to manage alone at home, but at others, you need to be in assisted care or one of you may even need skilled care. All of these changes affect you emotionally and bring on grief.
Experiencing Loss
During this period, we are experiencing the loss at one of the most rapid paces of our lives. Our children have moved out of our homes and often out of our city. It’s good in that they have grown and become independent. But it doesn’t always feel good. We miss them and wish we were more a part of their everyday lives…sort of. On the other hand, it’s rather tiring too. Which is another loss. We have lost the energy and stamina we had in our 30’s and 40’s.
We are saying good-bye to long time friends and family who are being lost to dementia and death–or are moving away to be closer to their children as they get older and need help. Our lives don’t look the same as they once did and we are grieving the loss of what we once had–good looks, in varying degrees, good health, no creaking or aching, the ability to remember things on the spot and many other things I can no longer remember…
By now, we may have also said good-bye to the home we raised our children in and many of the things that reminded us of those days. Yes, we still have the pictures, but it’s not quite the same. It has been good for us to have the upheaval and get rid of so many of the extra things we no longer needed. But the process has been long, difficult, and painful. Parts of it reminded us of happy memories, but parts of it were sad. We realized how little we enjoyed those happy years and how fast they flew by. We were busy with the dailyness of life. We often didn’t enjoy it as much as we needed to. But honestly, it would have been weird to pause over every potential memory and reflect on it. There must be a happy medium between that and racing through life!
Then there was also the background static of Do we have enough money? Will our kids grow up to be decent human beings? Will they love Jesus? Will they marry people who love Jesus? Will they be happy in healthy ways?…And on and on the static went. But they grew up and became who they did and life went on. And we have learned to live with it for good or ill. We have also learned to pray for them in new ways.
We need to make time to grieve the many losses we have experienced if we never have. If you don’t know how to grieve, find out how to do it. I’m not sure I really know how apart from a long process. And giving yourself time to do it may be what you need to do. Learn to spend time alone quietly with God, being honest over the sadnesses and regrets of your life. If you aren’t sure what they are, pay attention when you can’t sleep at night. That is when they often pop up their heads. Jot them down to look at in the daylight.
Don’t be logical with them except to think about if they are real things you need to feel regretful over and apologize for and be forgiven. Or is this “regret” something Satan loves to torment you with because he can and he knows how to push your buttons.
Anxiety over the Future: Will my Money Run Out?
This is a hard one. Why? Because we don’t know how long the money has to last. There is no average person. You know when they say an average person lives x number of years? That person doesn’t exist. Some people live longer. Some live shorter. You may need the advice of a financial counselor as far as how much money to remove per month from retirement accounts. Trusting God to care for you will also help as well as not living extravagantly or finding ways to earn income. Only God can provide for you in some of those ways.
Anxiety over the Future: Am I Ready for Eternity?
This is the most real and most important one to think on. What will happen after I die? Am I prepared? This could take a full post in itself. In fact, I wrote a post on it. Here is the link.
Understanding where we will spend eternity is an important issue to deal with. Is it possible to know for certain you will spend eternity with God? Jesus says it is. He promises that we can know for sure that we have eternal life. We don’t have to guess or hope we have it.
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God,
that you may know that you have eternal life.I John 5:13 ESV
That is why the apostle John wrote that short book of I John. It starts here. He wrote it so we could know for sure that we had eternal life. By the time we get into our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, if we haven’t figured it out before, we need to know where we are going to spend eternity. That is a long time!
Miscellaneous Anxieties
Yes, we also have many miscellaneous anxieties as well. It’s easy to understand why we have them, particularly if we are up often at night or have trouble sleeping. But we don’t need to struggle with them. God promises to take care of them for us. Here are some of His promises to us. Do we believe them?
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God
so that at the proper time he may exalt you,
casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.I Peter 5:6-7 ESV
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:4-7 ESV
So there you have some thoughts and encouragement for today. I have one more week in this series. I hope you are enjoying it. If you have more points to add, put them in the comments.
