LEARNING TO BE CONFIDENT IN CARING FOR YOUR PERSON…

Photo: Canva

At the beginning, when you started giving care to your loved one, most of you were optimistic about your ability to show them the love and care you needed to. Some of you were nervous about your abilities to manage the medical side of things, but with time, you learned the details of your person’s needs and managed them.

Most of you realized that you soon became the authority on your loved one’s care rather quickly. You had to learn to speak up  even though at times, you bumped into some health care professionals who have a tendency to speak down to you and act like they know better than you do.

You know the medications they take every day. You know about their appetite and how well they stick to their diet limitations, if there are any. You know how confused your loved one is, and at which times of the day. You know the things that irritate him and which things get him calm and less confused.There are many details you know about him that you may not think are even important…but they often are.

So if a medical person talks down to you or treats you like you don’t know anything, bear in mind that you are the expert on your loved one. Keep it quietly in the back of your mind. You don’t need to respond to them as someone who doesn’t know anything. You do. That is a given whether they know it or not. Just keep your notes handy and all will be well.

Calmness always triumphs over rudeness or fury

Now that I have been on both sides of these conversations, I have learned that calm always helps. It helps all of us get our wits about us, especially when we are stressed. It is never inappropriate for you to ask a person to give you a minute to think so you can get your information collected or so you can remember where it is. In the end, you will have a better, more profitable conversation.

Listen carefully, preferably with a pen and paper handy (or your Notes app on your phone) as your doctor gives instructions. Ask for spellings of medications if you need them. A reasonable doctor will give you the spellings. It is unreasonable to expect you to remember medication doses or treatments along with all the other things you have on your mind. It isn’t always possible to read their writing if they don’t have a computerized print out. If you need him to talk slower or louder, tell him. You need to get the information he is giving you right.

Rudeness, blaming, lashing out in anger do not help the process. You can’t control how others treat you, only how you treat them…and how you respond. Taking a minute to calm yourself will also help you hear and understand what is being told to you. When you allow panic to take over, you don’t hear or understand routine information that is given to you. I have been there. Simple things like where the cafeteria is, are difficult to process.

Show your confidence by the way you carry yourself and relate to the staff

Being confident doesn’t mean you know everything. It means that you are certain about what you do know. Confidence can often show itself in a quiet way. You don’t have to be loud or bossy to show your confidence. That may sound pretty basic, but you would be surprised how many people don’t know that.

You can always ask questions. Being confident allows you to ask questions so you can care for your loved one better…either directly or indirectly.

So remember that you can be confident that you know more about the care of your loved one than you realize. And when you don’t feel sure of yourself or feel confident, you can pray and ask GOD to help you. If you need to feel calmer, He can help. If you need to relate to someone in a kind way, He will help you. If you need to communicate clearly to medical professionals, He will help as well. Just realize that confidence is not loud, it is quiet…and peaceful.