Cold, dark, gloomy.
Deadness all around.
The closed in walls surround me ever more closely.
It is not a cozy feeling.
Accomplishments are few.
And then the guilt settles in.
If you can’t look at accomplishments,
What good are you?
After that, the niggly voice in your head starts up.
No, it isn’t the Holy Spirit,
The One who breathes Life and hope.
It is the the accusing voice that doesn’t see anything good
To comment on.
Who always critiques in the most unhelpful way.
Who has nothing positive or encouraging to say.
In fact, that is one of his names…the Accuser!
He is named well.
He is subtle because his words have just enough truth to them,
But not enough to be completely True!
He sees you as something to be manipulated, moved like a chess piece.
Not as someone who was created to be a little lower than the angels
To be allowed the freedom to be volitional, to make your own choices.
You even have the freedom to make the wrong choices at times.
But you learn by those wrong choices to be responsible for the choices you make.
And you grow up in ways you don’t otherwise.
However, the Enemy of your soul uses them against you,
To hound you in moments of weakness.
“See how you messed up here. And what about this other time where you blew it.
You’re no good. You’re not worth redeeming.”
The truth is, he is right, sort of.
All of us mess up. We are no good because of the Fall and the Curse of Sin.
We aren’t worth redeeming. BUT GOD intervened anyway!
He reached out in grace and redeemed us!
It had nothing to do with whether we deserved it or not.
Will the sadness disappear?
Not while we live on this earth.
But the reasons for the sadness lessen.
Will the depression leave us alone?
Pain, sadness and sorrow will be in our lives on this side of heaven.
But a day is coming when it will be completely obliterated!
The description of the Life after this one is that it can’t even be compared!
It is that much better.
Bring your Light into my world Lord Jesus!
In these bleak, dark days of winter,
I need your Light to light the corners of my life.
To change me from the inside out.
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying,
“I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life.”