I have discovered that I often don’t appreciate the privileges I have until I either lose them or nearly lose them. At this point, I can think of a clear example. I really didn’t consider my ability to think and remember things a privilege…until my epilepsy had quite a huge flare in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. Part of the problem came when it seemed that I was developing an allergy to my medication after 30 years on it. Fortunately, it was a mild enough reaction that I was able to come off the medication slowly so a seizure wasn’t precipitated unnecessarily.
I have discovered that I often don't appreciate the privileges I have until I either lose them or nearly lose them. Share on XBut during this time as they had to experiment a bit getting me on medications that would work effectively and I was having more seizures that my usual once every 7-10 years, I was having a lot of difficulty thinking straight…to say the least!
Some of the problem was from side effects of the medication and some was from the after-effects of the seizures. With these medications, they must wean you off one medication while slowly adding another new one. stop It takes awhile to know whether the new medication is actually working.
During those many months and years (yes, it was a four year period!) I wondered if my thinking processes would ever get back to normal. Sometimes, I would ask a question and forget what I had asked before the person started answering the question! I was in such a mental fog! There were times when conversations near me came through louder than the conversations I was in and kept me from focusing on the one I was in. It was totally weird.
I figured that if my life was going to continue like this, I wasn’t sure I wanted it to continue! It was too difficult and I was too weird to be able to function the way I wanted to. The privilege of being able to think is just that…a privilege. We assume it is a right, but it really isn’t. It is a gift that not everyone is given. The same goes for our vision, hearing and many other of our senses and abilities.
My brain slowly began to heal from all that had been happening to it.
However, as time went on, the treatment began to work. They discovered that part of my problem related to hormonal issues from menopause and I was started on one hormone that immediately changed me from having weekly/monthly seizures to going 4 months without one for the first time in 4 years! The dose was increased and I went 6 years without a seizure. Finally, I was able to drive again! The medication and treatment were working.
As they started working, my thinking cleared more and more. I realized that the privilege of having what to me was a normal life, had returned. Finally, I realized what a privilege it was! I was so blessed and privileged to be able to think again…to be able to process information that came in to me. It was a gift I had often taken for granted.
What privileges do you take for granted?
What are the privileges you have that you take for granted? Think small at first. Think under-appreciated at first too! I haven’t come out of that time with a desire to repeat it. But I’m glad I had to live through it. I learned a lot from that experience that I’m not certain I would have been able to learn any other way.
I learned in new ways that GOD loves me. He truly does. I learned how often He provided for my needs, but not in ways I always appreciated! I often wanted certain people to be used to help me, but instead He used different people and they showed up my personal arrogance in ways I would never have seen before!
Why didn’t I want to ask for the help I needed, help that was offered freely? I realized there was a pride factor. I was glad to help people when they needed it, but I didn’t want to need help myself. I didn’t like the feeling of neediness. But I was needy in ways that make a person feel very vulnerable!
Those years showed me how privileged I am to be able to think now. It is a great privilege that can be gone in a second! But it is one of many areas where each of us has been privileged. We have many privileges that we take for granted. Take some time to stop and think about them.
GOD has been very gracious to give us the privileges He has. But as with anything in this life, they will not last forever. Make time to be grateful to GOD for some of the privileges you have taken for granted.
Martha, I so appreciate your story and your perspective on privilege. It’s true, there is so much I take for granted. I guess one thing is being able to drive. I can be so independent if I want to because I know how to operate a vehicle. It’s a part of life, but it’s also a privilege to have the know how AND the vehicle. Thanks for the reminder to not take anything for granted.
thanks for stopping by jeanne:) yes jeanne, i think driving was one thing i really missed for those 4 years. it had such a strong effect on my independence! over the years i have had to take 6 month breaks, but never one for that long. i became very frustrated and angry! i chafed at the need to ask for rides, often from people who were bad drivers:( it was scary…especially as i woke more and more from my medicated/post-seizure daze. but the process of needing help and having to ask for it, drew me closer to many in our congregation who saw me as someone who was very self-sufficient.(i, of course, had always felt anything but self-sufficient/self-assured!) it is so interesting what our insecurities allow us to convey to others!
Oh, boy! I didn’t know you suffered from epilepsy! That must have been terrible! I had chemo-brain by proxy when my husband had cancer, and I had a terrible time remembering things.
Oh, I also forgot! I’m doing a link up just for caregivers over at Blessed (but Stressed), you’re a wealth of information and I’d love to have you link up some of your posts!
i know you have it. just keep forgetting. this winter has been very weird! we aren’t ill, but have had some minor sickness that has put us behind a bit. fortunately, there have been no major problems so far.
yes, since age 20, 1/2 way thro’ nurses’ training i had my first seizure…grand mal. fortunately, i only had breakthrough seizures about once every 7-10 years…until menopause. it just took awhile for the problem to get diagnosed. it was a long 4 years:(
Wow! What an incredible story of privilege. Thanks for sharing.
and the bottom line is, that is often what privilege is tara, often something we take for granted and assume we will always have, but others don’t have access to and have to work extra hard for. this adds to my comment on your page. it makes those of us with white privilege aware of a “gift” we must steward well…and encourage those who don’t have the same privilege as they work harder to overcome the disadvantage (in some circles.)
Martha, thanks so much for the reminder to be grateful for our privileges, even those we may deem small. We never know when we might lost them. Blessings to you!
thanks gayl. i guess in many ways, we take many of our privileges for granted don’t we? being able to think isn’t a small one, it is just taken for granted!