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privilege

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I have discovered that I often don’t appreciate the privileges I have until I either lose them or nearly lose them. At this point, I can think of a clear example. I really didn’t consider my ability to think and remember things a privilege…until my epilepsy had quite a huge flare in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. Part of the problem came when it seemed that I was developing an allergy to my medication after 30 years on it. Fortunately, it was a mild enough reaction that I was able to come off the medication slowly so a seizure wasn’t precipitated unnecessarily.

I have discovered that I often don't appreciate the privileges I have until I either lose them or nearly lose them. Click To Tweet

But during this time as they had to experiment a bit getting me on medications that would work effectively and I was having more seizures that my usual once every 7-10 years, I was having a lot of difficulty thinking straight…to say the least!

Some of the problem was from side effects of the medication and some was from the after-effects of the seizures. With these medications, they must wean you off one medication while slowly adding another new one.  stop It takes awhile to know whether the new medication is actually working.

During those many months and years (yes, it was a four year period!) I wondered if my thinking processes would ever get back to normal. Sometimes, I would ask a question and forget what I had asked before the person started answering the question! I was in such a mental fog! There were times when conversations near me came through louder than the conversations I was in and kept me from focusing on the one I was in. It was totally weird.

I figured that if my life was going to continue like this, I wasn’t sure I wanted it to continue! It was too difficult and I was too weird to be able to function the way I wanted to. The privilege of being able to think is just that…a privilege. We assume it is a right, but it really isn’t. It is a gift that not everyone is given. The same goes for our vision, hearing and many other of our senses and abilities.

My brain slowly began to heal from all that had been happening to it.

However, as time went on, the treatment began to work. They discovered that part of my problem related to hormonal issues from menopause and I was started on one hormone that immediately changed me from having weekly/monthly seizures to going 4 months without one for the first time in 4 years! The dose was increased and I went 6 years without a seizure. Finally, I was able to drive again! The medication and treatment were working.

As they started working, my thinking cleared more and more. I realized that the privilege of having what to me was a normal life, had returned. Finally, I realized what a privilege it was! I was so blessed and privileged to be able to think again…to be able to process information that came in to me. It was a gift I had often taken for granted.

What privileges do you take for granted?

What are the privileges you have that you take for granted? Think small at first. Think under-appreciated at first too!  I haven’t come out of that time with a desire to repeat it. But I’m glad I had to live through it. I learned a lot from that experience that I’m not certain I would have been able to learn any other way.

I learned in new ways that GOD loves me. He truly does. I learned how often He provided for my needs, but not in ways I always appreciated! I often wanted certain people to be used to help me, but instead He used different people and they showed up my personal  arrogance in ways I would never have seen before!

Why didn’t I want to ask for the help I needed, help that was offered freely? I realized there was a pride factor. I was glad to help people when they needed it, but I didn’t want to need help myself. I didn’t like the feeling of neediness. But I was needy is ways that make a person feel very vulnerable!

Those years showed me how privileged I am to be able to think now. It is a great privilege that  can be gone in a second! But it is one of many areas where each of us has been privileged. We have many privileges that we take for granted. Take some time to stop and think about them.

GOD has been very gracious to give us the privileges He has. But as with anything in this life, they will not last forever. Make time to be grateful to GOD for some of the privileges you have taken for granted.

 

 

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