photo: canva.com
Do you ever listen to the excuses you make? Sometimes I do when I’m trying to be more honest.
We have the blame-shifting excuses when we don’t want to give our real reason for not doing something or for saying “no.”
- I’ve discussed this with my husband and he doesn’t feel it’s a good idea for me to do it at this time.
- I can’t do it because of the needs of ___. stop
- I prayed about it and GOD said “no.” Of course, this is the big daddy of all excuses. It always sounds good and it is a good one if you actually did pray about it. The question is, is that true, or did you not want to do it in the first place and didn’t really seriously consider it before GOD?
It starts with have difficulty saying “No” or trying to save face
Often, we have trouble saying, “No, I can’t do it.” We often think we need to give all manner of explanations, the more spiritual they sound, the better. Believe me, I have heard them all. There have been times I wanted to laugh but didn’t. I knew I also have been guilty of giving the same lame excuses myself.
We have trouble saying, 'No, I can't do it.' We think we need to give all manner of explanations. Share on XWhy? Because I couldn’t simply own my “no.” I don’t have to explain why I say “no.” My reasons don’t have to sound logical, wise, or rational to anyone else. They don’t have to sound spiritual to anyone else. I am responsible for both my “no’s” as well as my “yeses.” I am responsible first to GOD. Then to my husband in the sense that we need to be on the same page regarding our time commitments. They affect our family life and our marriage.
All the reasons given above aren’t bad reasons if they are true, but they are passing the ownership of the decision to someone else. When we make those decisions, we need to take ownership of them for ourselves. As we are learning to say “no”, it may well be that our spouse has told us we can blame him for the decision. That is a great crutch for a while. But at some point, we need to take ownership of the final decision on ourselves.
Yes, it is true that I don’t ever give a final “yes” or “no” when asked to do something until I talk it over with my husband and check my calendar. But in the end, I make the decision to agree with him or not. I make the decision to vote for my marriage and family or not, to agree with the direction GOD is leading me or not.
It seems like a fine line there, but it isn’t. We make those decisions all the time…in split seconds. Am I going to react to this unkindness in a way that pleases GOD or in the way I feel like reacting?
Am I living intentionally or am I simply trying to keep people around me happy?
When I pray about the decision, the same holds true. I need to be aware of the choices I make as a Christian woman. It is too easy to fall into the trap of blaming my decisions on others when ultimately I have made them and I need to live with the consequences of those decisions. Will I live a stressed life with no margin that is trying to keep people happy? Or will I live a life of intentionality that is trying to glorify GOD? Some days the choices I make are better than others.
I need to be aware of my choices. It is easy to fall into the trap of blaming my decisions on others. Share on XOn those days, I move toward life and godliness more than I move toward my own way and decisions that will hurt me and people I love.
No more excuses! Live a life of freedom from what others think. I can own my decisions with a clear conscience before GOD. What a delight!
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.Ephesians 5:15-17
Today is Five Minute Friday. The word is excuse. This is a weekly group that writes together for 5 minutes on one word. My word often overflows the 5 minutes. That’s why I write stop when the 5 minutes runs out!
Preach it, Sister! I’m learning to say no gracefully. I always want to give excuses and make my no seem better somehow (or maybe make ME seem better some how). But our no should be a plain no and our yes a plain yes.
that has been a hard lesson for me to learn…and i’m still learning it anita!
Youtalkiname?
Hmmmm. You just might be. 😉
Saying no in truth and love can be as much of blessing as answering yes in guilt and worry.
A timely reminder!
great comment barbara:) no, i was talking to me:) i was just letting you listen in. that’s how it works here.
Brilliant post, Martha, and the Scriptural coda from Ephesians is a perfect choice.
thanks andrew:) i don’t know what else to say! you are too kind.
Great post!
thanks tara:) my first try was a bust, but this one flowed much better. sometimes, it just works this way.
I would, but… – There is always a but. Raising my hand – guilty as charged. Thank you for the post. I have no problem saying no. I do need to own the no and… I need to say yes, more.
glad you came by guy:) that was a successful post for sure:) that your problem was different than the one described, yet you saw your problem and responded to it. i love it:) blessings!
Yes, I think a lot of excuses come out of worrying what others think and wanting to justify ourselves to them. It definitely brings freedom if we can make our decisions based on what God thinks and realise we don’t always have to explain to others.
for sure lesley:) thanks for stopping by.