photo: Martha G. Brady
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So we move on to talk about grace. Yes, it is more than simply mercy plus a blessing. We can’t have grace without death. It may be a literal death or the death of a dream or desire. It may be the death of a plan for a season so someone else will be cared for. You can see that grace is deeply entwined in the life of the caregiver.
We will learn considerably more about the grace of GOD, the richness of it, as we partake of it. Share on XSo is reconciliation, or an attempt at reconciliation. True reconciliation has to involve both sides of a relationship. Yes, it can be initiated by only one side and may be spurned by the other. But the attitude of grace and forgiveness can always continue from that one side even if full reconciliation never occurs.
As caregivers, we need grace, mercy, and gifts of reconciliation available always.
Frequently, these are both involved with caregivers. How many times is the daughter-in-law asked to take in one or both parents-in-law to care for in their older years? It may even be a parent that has been hard to live with all her life. It is not easy for her to take in people with whom she or her husband have a difficult relationship. There will be less spontaneity in their family life. What will they do?
But in the best case scenario, GOD has used your family to minister to them in their senior years. No one wants to have this ministry. This is not the way we want to witness to our family members who are difficult. We would like them to be able to go home and take their problems with them. But if that is what GOD is calling you to (and be sure He is calling you to it, not a sense of guilt!)
Other scenarios fall on various levels of the spectrum. Often the parent who comes to live with you has been a pure blessing to you and your family. Those are not the times you need to struggle for grace, however. I’m talking about the times where it is needed.
Many of you realize just how much grace you need to do your job. It isn’t easy. It tries your patience…often! That’s why I put this little discussion of grace here. Caretakers need it in abundance.
As someone who has richly received grace from GOD, I can give it out as I give care to my loved one. Some days it isn’t easy. It can be very mundane for those who have to change diapers or deal with accidents of adults. Sometimes, the person we are doing it for is not appreciative or doesn’t understand our motives. They are also broken. Other times, we are dealing with their lack of care for their clothing and things when they once took care of their stuff. Or they struggle to eat normally like they once did. We have to die to preferences we have for a “normal” life…for the ability to come and go as we please.
We will also learn more about loving, sharing, caring for others in unselfish ways. Share on XWhatever is involved in our caretaking, this is going to curtail what was once normal for sure…in some way, for a season. But we will learn considerably more about the grace of GOD, the richness of it, as we partake of it. And in the end, we will realize that whenever it happened right, it had nothing to do with us. We alone, know how much this kind of thing doesn’t come naturally to us. We alone know that when our caretaking comes from this kind of place, it came from Him. Then we sit down at the end of a good day and thank Him!
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are,
yet without sin.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy and
find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:15-16
This is just SO good. Indeed, caretakers do need grace. Thanks for your wonderful comment on my post. What a difficult time you must have had with the epilepsy. So thrilled that you are now doing well. Grace upon grace to you as well.
thanks Karen. Yes, I had quite a flare during menopause! it was no fun. what made it worse was that i asked the doctor on my first visit if it could be related to hormones and he said, ” oh no. couldn’t possibly be related.” four years, one surgery, multiple medication changes later, he said, “it’s hormones.” of course, he didn’t remember the first conversation. i was started on progesterone and the seizure stopped for 4 months, the dose was slightly elevated and i went 6 years more b/f another seizure! if i didn’t believe in GOD’s sovereignty, i would have gone nuts! i know He had lessons to teach me during that time that i had no other way to learn, but it was irritating for sure. we were driving all the way to dallas from tyler, TX for this specialist! it wasn’t easy.
yes, GOD’s grace is needed for all kinds of things along the way, isn’t it?
So much grace is needed and God has an endless supply.
Blessings to you!
and to you too gayl:) you are so right! i find that i am so often trying so hard to work up the energy for more grace instead of asking Him for the grace I so need to give out of his limitless supply!