What are my limits?
I live in a country where I am taught that
I have none.
I can go for my dreams!
I can be anything I want to be.
But I’m here to tell you that isn’t true.
All of us have limits.
I became aware of some of mine early.
I realized I would never be a model.
It was never going to happen for me.
Given the limits of of a not perfect face
What would I be?
I was taught that the important thing was not what was on the outside
But the heart and soul were the important things.
It’s a good thing!
As I grew, I learned to reach out to people less fortunate than I
And to develop a growing relationship with Jesus.
For some reason,reaching out wasn’t that difficult.
The lowly and unfortunate liked me and most of the time, I liked them.
Growing with Jesus was a little more difficult, but it happened.
But I also wanted to be liked by the cool people, the fun people.
That didn’t come so easily.
As time went on, I learned to distinguish which ones were worth seeking after as friends
And which ones would be harmful. stop
At age 20, I developed epilepsy.
At the time, I wasn’t sure how it would affect my life.
As it turned out, apart from regular medication, my life was rather normal…
Apart from a breakthrough seizure every 7-10 years.
Until menopause.
Sadly, we didn’t realize this was the problem or my issues wouldn’t have lasted 4 years.
But suddenly, I started having seizures every month, then every week.
I now knew what it was like to be “an epileptic.”
I now no longer had a seizure in the morning if I had one.
It could happen anytime, anywhere.
My independence was gone.
No more driving…for 4 years…maybe never again!
Medications where changed, adjusted, changed again.
Most of the time, I was in a fog.
Of course, I looked fine. I was anything but!
I felt useless. My limits were glaring.
The very medication I asked about the first day I saw him!
Suddenly, one day, my doctor looked at my medications again.
He realized one of them needed something to balance it out
To remedy the seizures.
The cause of the seizure had been from menopause! Who knew?
Sure enough, I went months before another seizure.
The new medication was bumped up a little and I went 6 years!
Now, my limits come less dramatically.
I use my energy in spurts.
My limits hit me hard.
Now I have to plan ahead
So my limits hit me on a quiet day
Instead of a busy one.
What encourages me as the limits of age and human frailty are in my face?
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30For consider your calling, brothers:
not many of you were wise according to worldly standards,
not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.
But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise;
God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
God chose what is low and despised in the world,
even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
I Corinthians 1:26-29
What a powerful story! Limitations are expectations that go unmet. To expect life will be uneventful can be a real downer. It certainly is not. Thank-you for sharing your story of questioning and receiving better answers.
you make an interesting point gabriele. to expect life to be uneventful can be a real downer. it can also be a cause for ungratefulness as well don’t you think? until we go through period of physical illness, we don’t understand the gratefulness for good health for example. particularly as americans, we expect life to treat us well. when it doesn’t, we get furious…often at GOD who is ultimately in charge of our circumstances. learning to accept whatever He gives us…good and bad,with thanksgiving, is not easy. but it comes with realizing He knows what is best for us ultimately.
Martha, you’ve been through it. I am so grateful for that doctor who actually paid attention. I do hope for you…
thanks:) yes, he listened after 4 years! i wasn’t sure my life would change, but it did! that was my 50’s, now i’ll soon be 70. pretty amazing:) i’m very thankful for the good health i have now.
Martha, thank you for sharing a piece of what makes you the compassionate lady you are. As girls, don’t we ALL want to be a part of the “in” crowd? I was never there, either. God knew I needed to lean on Him not on popularity.
Asking for help from others is hard. I’m learning that in my present situation, as well. But there is beauty when we are interdependent on each other. There is peace when Jesus’ body functions as He intended. I’m learning this too.
I’m learning to accept the limits God places in my life, to not strive against them as hard or as long as I used to. Leaning into His word, and learning to be authentic in my needs is helping me.
thanks for your kind words jeanne:) i figured out a few years ago that the thing that made asking so difficult was my fear of hearing “no.” once i got over being able to hear “no”, i did fine. yes, it can be disappointing, but it is survivable:)
learning to accept the limits we have is great prep for old age:)
So cool to read a little bit of your story. Many of us wrote about our limits and how God has none. I’m thankful that our God is a God of no limits. I’m in the 10 spot this week.
yes, tara, i stopped by and commented:) glad you liked the post.
Oh Martha! That is good! Not the seizures but the way you wrote about limits. I was down for 6 months, vertigo from dehydration, a few years ago. I did NOT like those limits at all! Shane had to drive us where ever we needed to go, I couldn’t hardly stand without feeling drunk and dizzy. It was awful.
Who knew menopause could cause seizures in epilepsy? I sure didn’t. Glad it got figured out!
evidently the dr. didn’t either! 4 yrs. out of my life! day 1 that i went to see him, i asked him if it had anything to do with either my hormones or the ones i was taking! no, he said, couldn’t be! then after surgery, multiple med changes, he looked at my meds and assessed it differently!! all i could do was realize GOD had planned for me to go through that process of being weak! He knew how i hated it. how i hated asking for help. it built bridges with some of the women in our church after years of being there, that had never been built b/f! His ways are definitely different and wiser than ours aren’t they?
#55 on FMF this week. Limits can be hard. They require us to grow in grace in other areas.
hi annette:) i just found this in my spam folder:( thanks for stopping by a couple of weeks ago:) you are so right!