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Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wished someone would take care of  YOU?  That is something most of us have experienced somewhere along the way…particularly if we are mothers.

But it may be a sign that you haven’t adjusted to the fact that you are now an adult.  You are the mom…the grown-up in the relationship.  You must do the mature and loving thing, the sacrificial thing.  It may be something simple like changing a dirty diaper, cleaning up vomit…or worse.  It may be getting up with a crying or sick baby when you want to be asleep.  Or you have become aware that, as the spouse, you need to be the mature one in the relationship…and you really don’t feel very mature about this realization!

You may be single. However, it didn’t really hit me as hard that I needed to grow up until I was married…and especially when I was a mom!  It was always whacking me in the head!  I couldn’t get away from it.

 

Part of growing up involves sacrificing something I want for the benefit of another person

In the end, you must sacrifice something you want for the benefit of your child or loved one.  Over time you will look back and be glad you did, but at the moment, when you are already sleep-deprived, or have a splitting headache or are suffering from cramps or morning sickness, that is the last thing you want!

At one time, adulthood looked so fun, didn’t it?  It seemed adults got to do whatever they wanted.  The truth isn’t quite as exciting at times.  However, over the long term you will be glad you started growing up.  Adults need to work to bring in money and maintain the family and home.  They need to learn to live within their means (one topic I’m not covering here).  They need to learn to get along with the people they live with in their family as well as their neighbors and co-workers.  At some point, it takes growing up, maturity or the willingness to put the needs of another ahead of yourself!

 Raising and maintaining a family…it takes grown-ups!

Maintaining a family takes work.  There is a lot about it that is fun and rewarding, but there is also a LOT of work involved.  If the apparent adults really are grown ups, it can add to the fun.  If not, the hard work can be burdensomme because someone in the group is keeping score as in “I’ve sacrificed 3 times this week and you have only sacrificed once.  Now it is your turn!”  That’s not what sacrifice involves.  That is misery both for the person counting and their spouse or friend.

I won’t be able to help you grow up in 31 days.  I went out of my way not to promise that would happen!  I am passing on to you 31 facets or aspects of growing up. If possible, I will include further information at the bottom of the page for further learning or putting into practice.  In fact, I can guarantee it will take a lifetime!  It depends on how immature you are.  Spread this information out over a regular period of time however, and I think you will discover as you look back, that you have grown and matured.

YOU may not be the best judge of your progress.  You may have to ask people who know you well…after a couple of months.  Some of the topics mentioned may not be topics you associated with maturity or “growing up” but I was using a mental contrast in my mind between junior high behavior vs. adult behavior. That’s how I came up with the topics I did.  They aren’t necessarily in order of priority because different people struggle in different areas.

CHANGE POINT:

It will be a great idea to do this series with someone else who will be honest with you…and vice versa.  If you can’t count on the person to be honest with you, you will be better off doing it alone…and be brutally honest with yourself!

Don’t give in to your natural rationalizations/lies that you are prone to tell yourself.  Look in a mirror and talk to yourself.  Can you honestly look yourself in the eye and tell yourself what you are trying to say?  If so, you may be telling the truth.  It is better to test it out on another person since it is often easy to lie to ourselves.

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