Another Friday has rolled around already. Our house is slowly, slowly taking order. From my perspective, it seems to take forever. Our entry and dining room walls are now painted and look clean and fresh. Most of the rooms now have curtains hanging. I’m gradually finding more and more of the things I need to make the house look like it is ours.
But we’re here for Five Minute Friday…so let’s get back to business.
- Write for 5 minutes…no stopping, no looking back.
- Link to Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday page.
- Stop by the person ahead of you on the page and leave a note about the effect of her words…and do it for anyone else you’d like as well.
Now there is something that is extremely personal.
Have you ever needed comfort and had a well-intentioned person come up to you and say
The absolutely most uncomforting thing they could have said? And they were totally unaware?
Often, it was because they had never experienced what you were experiencing.
For example, when you have had a miscarriage or lost a baby at an even later stage, there is always someone
Who says, “Oh well, you can have another.”
Which may or may not be true!
While they totally discount the actual loss you had!
Each child is different, each pregnancy is different.
The totality of the loss of my full term child didn’t hit me until I was expecting my fourth child,
Third living daughter. She was my only late baby. It was during those 10 days of waiting, STOP
Taking long, often angry walks as I hoped to “induce” some contractions…
That it suddenly hit me!
“There is no replacing baby #1. No matter how many children you have, you will never replace her.
You will always realize that you have more children than you usually mention.”
Once again I had to deal with that loss. It was 7 years after that child had died.
So if a mother/daughter, friend or family member doesn’t seem to be “getting over” a loss
That you think she needs to “get over”.
Remember those who have kindly comforted you. As the grief came in waves over years.
They were patient…or not.
The One who comforts well is Jesus. Even if no one else seems to care about your loss or grief.
Even if your expressions of grief have worn them out and they have lost patience.
Remember His compassion for you. His gentleness and mercy.
And give it to the person near you who needs it.
Even if you have never been comforted well.
Even if others have been impatient or inept.
You know about sorrow and some of the salve that is needed.
You know that it is unpredictable.
Comfort in the way you would want to be comforted…
In the name of Jesus…with mercy and grace.
“You will always realize that you have more children than you usually mention.” wow! that hit me and it is no coincidence that I posted in Five Minute Friday just after you…you my friend…know my heart. I have 2 more children than I usually mention and although I claim full healing from those losses… I remember. Thank you for this post and thank you for so lovingly expressing comfort as it relates to miscarriage and loss.
lisha, thanks for being my neighbor:) i loved reading your post. i even had that scripture in mind when i wrote my post! i just don’t think it came through as clearly as your post did. the true comfort does come from Christ for sure! words alone don’t help.
so nice to meet you. i hope we’ll cross paths again:)
i love your beautiful and apparently lively famlly. enjoy these busy years. they fly by faster than you will believe! (my oldest 2 are now in their 40’s!!! and my 3rd only has a few more yrs. to go.)